The harsh reality of becoming a parent is you never realise just how much you took for granted before your life revolved around someone else’s.
Once the adrenaline of those magical first couple of weeks wears off, where your baby sleeps all day and all night and only wakes up for feeds, the tiredness, stress and I can’t do this kicks in.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t swap this for the world, he is my whole heart and the love of my life but I don’t half miss my pre-motherhood life.
Sleep, oh God how I miss sleep. There are not enough words in this world to describe how much I miss a full, uninterrupted night of sleep. I get one occasionally, thanks to my darling Mother, but I will always say that I wish I knew my last night was going to be my last night, I would have taken full advantage of it rather than spending it somewhere I shouldn’t have.
Washing and I don’t mean laundry, I mean actually cleaning myself. I can go a few days without a bath or a shower, and it’s only when I do eventually get one, that I realise how long it’s been and how during that time I’ve been puked, pissed and shit on! It sounds disgusting and it really is, but again, trying to grab a bath with a grizzly baby in his bouncy chair is less than enjoyable.
Watching a movie really is one of my favourite things to do, or, well, it was. I cannot remember the last time I managed to sit indoors and watch an entire movie, without cries for attention or food. Now my viewing consists of Extreme Couponing and Toddlers and Tiaras at 4am.
Just leaving the house without it feeling like a God damn military operation! Do I have enough nappies? Enough bottles? Enough spare clothes? How long am I’m going to be out for? Will I make it there before his next feed? Blah blah blah. Where did my spontinety go?
Staying out later than 9pm is a fond memory, even through pregnancy, I rarely made it out later than 8. Even on my rare nights off, I’m too exhausted from the week of raising my little monster to have more than a couple of beers before I just need to crawl into bed and hope to sleep for a year.
Parenting is tough, tough in ways that I couldn’t even imagine. I know it will get easier, but that feels like a such long way off.